(no subject)

[oceana]

I had a headache, and took the evening off. I thought I could go home, read some smut and got to bed early.
Instead I had to read things like this:


As soon as Jack came that was it, Jonas flooded his mouth as Daniel flooded his ass, both of them crying out Jack's name.


or


I hadn't worn a condom and I'd come inside of her, what, nine times?

Congratulations, Daniel, that must be some kind of world record. Have you been playing with Jack's Viagra again?

Okay, I know I shouldn't complain, I can't write at all, but please:

If you don't know how to write a good sex scene, stay with the PG rated stuff!
AND
If you have obviously never seen a naked man other than the picture of Adam Clayton on "Achtung Baby":
Do not write sex scenes at all!
AND
If you absolutely want to ignore canon in your characterization of the main characters, mark your fic AU.
Give me a chance to avoid it.


I just wanted to find some decent fic that I hadn't read before. No such thing seems to exist on Area52.