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[oceana]

Due to the structure of the series, A-Team two-parters seldom work for me. They are usually too long and the characters are too flat (except for The A-Team, of course) to make the story interesting enough for two hours. I mean, how many over-turning cars, shootings where no one ever gets shot and MacGyver scenes with ever the same music can you put together before it gets boring? Don't get me wrong, I love the show, but most of the time, not the two-parters.

"The Bend in the River" is an exception. The plot is simple and can be told in a few words: Tawnia's (*rolls eyes*) fiancee gets abducted by bad boys while he is in the jungle (what do you mean, which jungle?") looking for the lost city of Atlantis. No, not Atlantis, but some lst city anyway. The A-Team goes looking for him, finds trouble, finds girl, finds bad guys, finds more bad guys and, because this is a two-parter, finds even more bad guys, the last ones building a nuclear reactor in the jungle. Then they fight the bad guys with the other bad guys who aren't so bad after all. Maybe.

The episode is an incredibly good guest star, is filled with Hannibal/Face slashiness, plus there are pirates and Face wears shorts. This, apparently, is enough to keep me entertained for two hours (it's more like 1,5 hours anyway)

Now let's try this with pictures:

This is the (or one of the) Aquamaniac episode. The first A-Team member we see in this episode is, like so often, Hannibal. Only this time he wears his aquamaniac costume. We learn that he has played the Aquamaniac in three movies, and that it, the moster, is a sad, lost and remorseful creature with a soul who really loved one of the girls it abducated, or ate, or whatever he does with it.


Aquamaniac


Aquamaniac says 'Piss off' after getting fired

Shortly after we see Face, who introduces himself as Hannibal's dialogue coach. This happens like that:
Face, trying to get food from the carterer (more like a sleazy fast food thing) is approached by a guy from the crew.
Guy: "Are you with the crew?"
Face:*Oh, what should I say, I'm with Hannibal, uhm Hannibal! Mouth!Hannibal!* "Sure, sure, I'm his dialogue coach."
Guy: "The aquamaniac doesn't have a dialogue coach."

Before Face can talk himself out of this one, Hannibal walks by to tell him that he got fired (too much soul), and the guy takes Face's tray away, leaving him with a single red apple. Which he then eats while Hannibal undresses himself in front of him. Talk about symbolic.

Face decides to help Hannibal undress ("Let me take of the pants! You know how much I like taking off the pants.")


Face helps Hannibal undress.



"What, the pants too?"


Hannibal, posing and Face's car


'Nice underwear, Hannibal.'

Note the look on the face of the guy who is walking behind the car, clearly thinking "OMG they are going to do it right here in the parking lot!"


But there are limits to Face's devotion.
"You can touch me, but you can't drive my car."


"Not the car, never the car."


Obligatory car butt shot.

And now we get to meet Tawnia. Now, I never liked Tawnia. As a kid, it was pure jealousy, now I she just makes me go WTF is she doing there and how does she do that with her hair? Anyway, Tawnia wants them to go to the jungle, and since Hannibal just lost his job, that's what they do. (that's Face's appartment, btw, that's why Hannibal looks right at home.)


Tawnia, Face and Hannibal


Reading together.

Face, of course, has to get Murdock first, who, another highlight of this ep, is making a movie.
"I'm known in Hollywood as H.M. Murdock. Or H.M.M. Or Hmm."


Murdock

In the meantime, Hannibal prepares BA for the flight.


Sleeping BA

Another picture of Hannibal smiling at Face like, well, I don't know like what, but this is what it looks like.


Hannibal smiling at Face


Love this Murdock scene, especially the look he gives Hannibal in the second one.


Murdock



Murdock


Now we meet the brilliant guest star I have mentioned before. Okay, we actually meet him at the very beginning of the ep, but this where you meet him in my lj. And no, it's not the guy in the white (look at what he has done to the sleeves of his shirt and the blazer! That's fashio, I tell you, you don't find that kind of thing anymore today!) The guest star (well, I don't really think he is a star, but he should be), is the fat little pirate in the dirty clothes, who is OMG so brilliant in his role, and totally crazy, too! Look at his eyes!


SleeveGuy and Pirate!


Then there is the obligatory first trouble with the bad guys. A-Team walks into a bar, Hannibal provokes someone, BA shoots people, Hannibal looks like he just crossed the Alps.


BA shooting


Hannibal admiring his elephant

Murdock films everything so they can later give it to the police as evidence.

Face and Murdock

Back outside, they charter ship. Look at Hannibal and Face looking triumphant...


Hannibal and Face

...until someone pokes Hannibal in the ribs with a gun.
"Uh oh", thinks Hannibal, "Someone is poking me with a gun."
And it's someone who has a blowdryer and a brand-new perm! Right here in the jungle!


Perm-Girl

She is quickly disarmed, however, all captured in fim by Murdock. Notice how Tawnia stands in the background, obviously bored by being held at gunpoint by perm-girl. And what is it with the horse-riding outfit? She is wearing boots to those pants as well, and sleeve guy is wearing almost the same thing, only his pants are a lot gayer. I'll see if I have a screencap of that later.


Murdock filming

One of the few shots of BA. Poor guy doesn't get much screentime, because he never has any dialogue except for the "I don't fly in no plane!" speech.


BA

Tawnia: "Take that, perm-girl, I brought my blow-dryer, too!"


Tawnia


And then...
Pirates! Real river pirates! On a pirate boat!



Pirates!

That the A-Team blows up.


Exploding Pirates!

Face and Murdock are very happy about this.


Happy Face and Murdock

They take the pirates back to the pirate home.


"Hey, were you just staring at my ass?"


In the pirate camp, the next highlight:
Face in shorts and a white shirt. Really, he is awfully cute, isn't he? I can't find a word that would fit him better than cute. Maybe adorable. And so gay!


Face in shorts


More Face


Yet more Face

Hannibal finds him cute, too.


Hannibal

So the A-Team, unsurprisingly, wins against the bad boys. But Perm-Girl (Quote "I am the captain, I will pilot this vessel!"), betrays them, and so the bad guys capture them and put them into cages. No, really, see they build cages. At least they find Tawnia's fiancee that way.

This handsome dirty and sweaty man, btw, is Tawnia's fiancee. He is also her boss, the owner of the newspaper she works for and has tons of money, but really, she just wants him for his looks.


Tawnia's fiancee

We take a quick break for today's special, Men in Cages:


Men in Cages













Hannibal, again, provokes a fight. But this time they bad guys are smarter. They know they can't make Hannibal shut up by hurting him, so they decide to hurt one of his friends. And they choose, oh wonder, Face!

Who heroically fights the big bad guy, so now they are all free again.




Face is very proud. He also puts his gun into a place where, well, I can hardly stand to look. What if it goes off?




Hannibal is so turned on by this that he decides to take Face for a little quickie in the jungle,




but Murdock tries to film them.




Then Murdock complains about the fight scene. "I know what you are doing was real, but in film, we need what looks real." That man, with the gold around his face. He's fantastic! Who's his agent?"
(this should answer any questions about slash pairings in the A-Team)


BA thinks they are all crazy.



Off they go, to find the lost city!

In meiner Badewanne bin ich Kapitän!


Bad guy is pissed:



"And you thought MacGyver had bad hair cuts? I'll show you a bad hair cut!"
Don't mess with the bad guy's hair, dude.

They find the lost city, which makes them happy, too,...


Murdock and Hannibal

..and Hannibal explains that the escape was as set-up and the bad guys will soon come to the lost city to fight them there (because we still have 25 minutes to fill).

Face: "Let us escape??!!. Let us???!!!"
Hannibal: "Sure! Face, you don't think i'd let you get into it with the cement mixer (bad guy), if I didn't figure the fight was rigged?"

There is no denying the love.


After another fight where, surprise, the A-Team wins again, BadHairBadGuy caves and tells them that some military guy from the government is building a nuclear reactor. In the jungle. With Perm-Girl delivering all the materials and the hair-dryers on her "vessel". You gotta give the writers credit for creativity. I for one, would never have guessed the nuclear reactor plot.

But that is also taken care of, this time with help from the pirates, because my favourite guest star is perm-girl's daddy.


Hannibal and Face


And then Tawnia and Rich!Boss!Guy marry. Conveniently, Face brought a wite jacket, or maybe there's an endless supply of them in the jungle, you never know. The jungle is full of surprises (Face washed and blow-dryed his hair, Tawnia's ironed her shirt and perm-girl never sweats.)


Face in white


Kiss

Anyway, marriage, BA almost cries, and last, but not least:



THE END.



You can find more screencaps at my scrapbook.