oceana: (Default)
( Mar. 14th, 2010 08:04 pm)
I'm feeling a bit, well, like meme-ing.

Ten years ago... )
So I have this folder in my emails. It is labeled "ANSWER!!!!". It
contains (duh!) unanswered comments, going back to, oh, January, I
think. Definitely not 2008, because at the end of the year I threw out
all unanswered comments and emails with the intention to never ever
let it get that far again.


Anyway, I was going to answer these old comments, just for the fun of
it. But, since I'm never at home, I can only answer comments via
email, which

a) seriously limits my choice of icons (no choice at all is more like
it, which is why you see me use the cow so often these days), and
b) means that I cannot check if maybe I have already answered that
comment and forgot to take it out of the folder. Which is why I
usually give up very quickly on answering comments via email, and then
I'm never at home, and well, it's a vicious circle.

I was going to just throw them all out again, because frankly, who
cares about comments after such a long time in a fast-moving medium
like the internet? But I like answering comments. So, I decided that
I'm going to slowly make my way through the folder. Expect to get
answers to really really old comments from me during the next days.
Sometimes even twice. ;.)

(this entry is part of Oceana's "Wasting Time
Whernever I Can"-Series, brought to you by Oceana,
Bad-Time Management and Procrastination issues. Viewer discretion is

The soundtrack to this entry was written by Jagger/Richards and
performed by the Rolling Stones:

I'm living a life of constant change
Every day means the turn of a page
Yesterdays papers are such bad news
Same thing applies to me and you

Who wants yesterday's papers
Who wants yesterday's girl
Who wants yesterday's papers
Nobody in the world

You can contact the author of this entry by leaving a comment to this
post. Please be advised that the answer may take a few months.
oceana: (Default)
( Apr. 13th, 2009 01:31 pm)
I make lists. Like, for everything. I list my vacation days and how I intend to spend them, I list the things I want to look at the next time I'm at IKEA, I list what I want to cook and buy, but most of all, I make to do lists.

Every Thursday or Friday when the weekend gets closer, I make a list of what I need/want to do on the weekend. Then I put it somewhere and lost sight of it and have to start all over again. (Needless to day, I forget a lot of things. But that's why I'm making lists.)

Today I managed to get one of my to-dos done ("clean desk"), and I found one of my old lists, probably dating from January this year. Here's what it says, and I really haven't the slightest clue why it says what it says.


  • Sell stuff on ebay

  • clean desk *

  • check out pension funds

  • book hotel in Jordan

  • cook (plan on Friday, grocery shopping on Saturday)

  • horse

  • update ipod

  • do not ever attempt to write Harry/Snape

Oh, it's so easy to amuse myself these days. And people wonder why I never get any work done...

*well, that only took three months.

Tell me when you last found a not to yourself that left you clueless (and hopefully amused)?
Sometimes I read my name and feel, well, detached. Like this person whose name I'm reading is someone I once knew, or almost knew, but never quite got around to it. Incredibly familiar, and yet not real enough to grasp. Like, if someone asked me who that person is, I'd know that I know them, but I would be unable to put it into words. (I have a very unusual name, btw, so it doesn't happen very often)

This shouldn't be so surprising, because it's all just a reaction to the age-old question "who am I?", but still, when i read my name and this feeling comes up, it's just strange.

On the other hand, I have days when I feel as if I know myself so incredibly well that I'm practically bored with me and need to find something new to do with myself. And it's kind of lonely, because I know that no one will ever get to know myself as well as I know myself, and with every new facette I add to myself, the chance that
anyone will ever get close to knowing myself the way I do get smaller. It's like me and me going through the world together, and every day that I do not share with someone else gets me further away of ever sharing with someone else, because how could they ever catch up?

I realize that this sounds way more schizophrenic than I really am. (at least that's what we hope over here)

Intellectually I know that this is just a symptom of loneliness, and really, I've been single for almost six years, I'm not close to my family, and I don't have any close friends in the city I life in - why shouldn't I be lonely? Except, I'm rather happy with myself. It's like I know that I should be lonely, only I don't feel lonely. I see symptoms of loneliness, but don't feel the effects. And I really don't
feel liek sharing my life with someone else, i'm quite happy to be single. Only, society tells me that I should be lonely and that everyone needs a partner to be happy, and that I will end up a sad and lonely person who drinks a bottle of redwine by herself every evening (to which I always point out that all of my friends who are in relationships drink way way more than I do, because I only ever drink when I have company, which is, not very often, whereas they seem to drink something every other evening, because they always have company. Also, misery likes company and things like that.

When I started tpying this, it was just something that popped into my head when I read my name, but now I realize that there may be a point to this after all: it's to say "hello!" to all you happy singles out there. Don't let society tell you that you are not allowed to be happy, just do whatever feels right to you!

O.& O.
oceana: (Default)
( Dec. 29th, 2008 12:58 pm)
[P E O P L E]
1. Best friend? No.
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
3. Lost any friends? I hope not.
4. Gained any friends? I like to think so.
5. Met a new good friend? Maybe.

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country? Yes.
2. Moved? No (thank God, it was getting a bit much these last years)
3. New school? No, but a stable is like highschool in many ways.
4. How many times on an airplane? Not as many as I feared.
5. Road trips? YAY! COLORADO! ROCKIES!

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed? Yes.
2. New look? No.
3. Any new addictions? Horse?
4. Biggest conflict this year? Work?
5. Most depressed time this year? I don't remember. The Horse-Happiness blends out all depression that there might have been.

[L O V E]
1. Did you fall in love? Maybe.
2. Who was your summer love? Summer? The horse.
3.How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? Real people?
4. Biggest crush? The horse.

[S E A S O N S]
1. Favourite Season? Autumn.
3. Good birthday? Not really.
4. Any snow this year? Oh yes.
5. Highest temperature? Hot hot hot summer that I actually got to experience outside the office.

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]
Snuck out - From work.
Met a person who will change your life - I hope so.
Kept your resolution - Can't remember them.
Had a first something - First horse.
Drank Alcohol - Almost not at all.
Smoked weed/drugs - I learned from last year, so, no.
Did anything illegal - Hah.
Kissed a boy/girl - *cries*
Liked someone who didn't like you - Everyone likes me. I don't like them. ;-)
Changed your view on things - Yes.
[P E O P L E]
1. Best friend? No.
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
3. Lost any friends? The one whose friendship is becoming more and more of a joke every day, but I'm too loyal to give up on her.
4. Gained any friends? Colleagues, yes, friends? Not really.
5. Met a new good friend? No.

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country? Yes.
2. Moved? Twice.
3. New school? You could call it that, I guess...
4. How many times on an airplane? Way too many.
5. Road trips? Nope.

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed? Yes.
2. New look? No.
3. Any new addictions? Work?
4. Biggest conflict this year? Work?
5. Most depressed time this year? One weekend in summer when I broke down after not having slept more than three hours for two weeks, on EXACTLY the day that the new Harry Potter was published. It made me very very sad (but I slept too much to wallow in it. *g*)

[L O V E]
1. Did you fall in love? I already was in love with a horse.
2. Who was your summer love? Summer? When did that happen?
3.How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? Imaginary? *g*
4. Biggest crush? The horse.

[S E A S O N S]
1. Favourite Season? Winter.
3. Good birthday? Not really.
4. Any snow this year? Can't remember.
5. Highest temperature? Air conditioning.

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]
Snuck out - From work.
Met a person who will change your life - I hope so.
Kept your resolution - Can't remember them
Had a first something - First day of work.
Drank Alcohol - Bailey's. Not enough.
Smoked weed/drugs - Let's not talk about it.
Did anything illegal - See my face? No? Well, can't help you then.
Kissed a boy/girl - *cries*
Liked someone who didn't like you - Everyone likes me. I don't like them. ;-)
Changed your view on things - Yes.
Post the first sentence from the first entry of each month, then post the last sentence from the last entry of that month!

Considering how much I've been around this year, this is going to be one depressing meme.

1st: Hope you all had a wonderful New Year's Eve party and will have an even more wonderful new year!
(what a surprise)

30th: See you in April!
(it didn't take quote as long, but almost)

There were no entries in February. see last entry in January.

Only one entry in March.

18th: First sentence: I'm back for the weekend to celebrate my four years of lj anniversary and the last episode of Stargate ever.
Last sentence: Spoilery for last episode of Stargate, click link at your own risk.

7th: And thank you so much, anonymous lj-easterbunny, for the jelly beans that you hid in my user info.
8th: *is full of glee in anticipation*

25th: Hey, it's me!
26th: Thank you!

30th: AT HOME!
30th: More, now that it's over, if that's even possible.

1st: It's not easy...
28th: Maybe I'll give BSG another chance...

1st: I haven't been tagged, but I have nothing else to say, so there
25th: ETA: Okay, I'm going now, but it was wort(h) a try.

8th: I'm back from the most fabulous vacation ever.
30th: Wait, I have guests! Two more weeks and margueritem will be there, squeeee!

6th: Okay, it's official.
22nd: If you keep singing, I'll squish you and your stupid breaking levee! Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well..

4th: So the iPod is dead.
30th: *is still bored*

3rd: No time to write a real opinion on the sale (but hey, Russia! Now we
Lst: To come.

Some of these lead to flocked entries. I flock for personal details, so I can keep my sekrit identity. Be assured that flocked post are as boring as the rest of them and that fannish stuff is always public.
oceana: (Default)
( Sep. 30th, 2007 12:40 am)
It's Saturday night, I'm at my parents' place, very much not going out. Instead I interneted all evening, reading lj, reading [livejournal.com profile] astolat's fabulous "Old Country" (http://intimations.org/fanfic/supernatural/Old%20Country.html), a Supernatural/Harry Potter crossover, which you people totally failed to inform me about.
Okay, so I wasn't around.
And I don't usually do Wincest.
You are forgiven.

I saw "my" horse (love of my life) again today for the first time on what feels like forever, but was really only six week. It made me happy and sad, because I want him so much, but work just doesn't allow it. Maybe in a year or so. We'll see how things develop.

I read through some magazines and now have plans for room number three. I have moved into the apartment almost six months ago and I still have not finished any of the rooms of hung up any pictures. And here I'm wondering why I'm not in a relationship when I cannot even commit to a dinner table.
Unsurprisingly, my plans do not involve a dinner table, but they do include a desk, a guest bed and more bookshelves. For I have way too many books and dvds, so I need a new book shelf. Now I just need guests.

Wait, I have guests! Two more weeks and [livejournal.com profile] margueritem will be there, squeeee!
oceana: (Default)
( Aug. 23rd, 2007 12:33 am)
I'm going on vacation this Saturday (yay!) and it suddenly occured to me that I don't have to live without slash for two weeks! There is podfic!

Now, I've read about podfic, but have never listened to it or downloaded it. Where can I find good podfic? I know Speranza has podfics on her website, and I'll most certainly will take them on vacation, but I'm sure there must be others. Maybe some Jack/Daniel? Or Highlander? Help, please?

Oh, and does anyone want postcards? I could set up a poll like I did last year, if people are interested. I enjoyed writing them.
I used to feel so at home here. And then I was without internet for a
few months and suddenly everything changed.

OK, I still feel "at home". I just don't feel as if I've completely
returned yet. My flist seems quiet, which could be because of fewer
posts, because fandoms have changed, because it's hiatus, or maybe
because people really don't post much anymore. I don't know. I know I
don't post as much as I used to, and certainly not as interesting as I
hopefully once was. By this I mean that I hardly post any meta
anymore, and this is, after all, supposed to be a fannish journal.
And as if that wasn't bad enough, I don't comment on other people's
meta anymore.

I know my personal reason for this is work: I work a minimum of 50
hours per week, often more, often the weekend as well. When I come
home, all I do is watch Tv and maybe read my flist, but more often
than not I don't have the energy to interact with people. Recent LJ
developments haven't made this any easier.

But I used to love comin home, reading and commenting, watching Tv and
then posting my thoughts and discuss them. So the lethargy needs
changing, which is why I resolve to:

- answer comments every day every second day
- post at least ten comments in reply to posts on my flist every day
- post something, fannish or not, every day

(with the exception of days where I work more than 14 hours, because
then I really am too tired.)

Maybe if I say it, it will become true. ;-)

*resolve face*

(I hope the thought of me being all fannish again doesn't scare you as
much as it does me... *g*)
I haven't been tagged, but I have nothing else to say, so there.

Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:
1. Clothes Folderer (I know that this is not a word) at H&M
2. Horseriding instructor
3. Assistent in advertising agency
4. Lawyer

Four countries I have been to:
1. Canada
2. USA
3. France
4. Spain
(Europe, people. You want me to choose just four?)

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. Nice, France
2. At home
3. At my grandma's
4. On a horse

Four foods I like to eat:
1. Pasta
2. Cheese
3. Tomatoes
4. Bailey's
(that would be my whole diet, if I could survive on it)

Tag, you're it!
oceana: (Default)
( Jul. 28th, 2007 08:03 am)

Your Score: Squib

You scored 36% Slytherin, 20% Ravenclaw, 16% Gryffindor, and 32% Hufflepuff!

Are you sure that you belong at Hogwarts? You show no defined personal characteristics and therefore no house preference. Perhaps you should seriously consider a lucrative career in dentistry or tax preparation -- or allow the Sorting Hat to redetermine your place at a later date.

Link: The Sorting Hat Test written by leeannslytherin on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Apparently, I'm not meant to be in Hogwarts at all. On the other hand, this is the result I got when I skippedthe question of which House I want to be in. If I choose that I want to get into Slytherin, I score significantly higher (56%) on Slytherin. If I choose Gryffindor, still a squib.
Yep, I can just see myself sitting there with that stupid hat on my first day.

Hat: "Either you choose Slytherin or you'll go home."
Me: "But I don't want to live in the dungeons!"
oceana: (Default)
( Jul. 23rd, 2007 11:28 pm)
I'm such a bad fan. You know what I've been doing for fu these last months?

I'm staring at horses.
Pretty pretty horses.
Instead of sneaking a fobidden look at new slash fics at work, I've been daydreaming aout horses.

Like these one, the Northrhine-Westphalian State Stud (I wonder if they know how wrong this sounds). Click on "Zuchtbereich", then on "Die Neuen". Notice Paramo. Notice Grasco. Noice how even with horses I seem to fall for the older men.

Then there is this side: German Sires in Motion.
The videos aren't too great, but they load fast and oh, the pretty! The Pretty!

And then there is this guy.
Isn't he just the prettiest thing you have ever seen? I want him badly. BADLY. The head! The color! The movement!
He is for sale.
I haven't come home before 10 p.m. once this week. No, wait, I haven't left the office before 10 p.m. once this week.
No wonder this journal is lacking any fannsih content recently, apart from the random OMG Jensen! Stop keeping me awake with your prettiness! entries!

So, here's your chance to get me back on the fannish track. If you want me to talk about fannish things, which, well, I refuse to believe that you are all here because of my really exciting real life...

Give me a prompt, a picture, ask me a question or tell me a story, or whatever else you think will inspire me, and I will do my best to post something fannish about it.

1,2,3 go!
I was going to work out a little tonight, but then I noticed that the J/D ficathon stories are out, so instead I'm lying on the couch, reading J/D fic and eating ice cream.
Life is good.

I'm a bit confused though that there is a ton of participants that I have never heard of before, while many of the usual suspects are missing.
*glares at usual suspects*
*is ignored by usual suspects who are all watching Heroes and Supernatural*
I'm sure there are lots of great stories anyway and I'm going to start reading right now. Just one more thing:

PLEASE don't spoil me for the new Harry Potter movie? Please? I don't think I'll get to see it before Saturday, and even then I'll have to watch it alone. I have a sad life. I have no life. Jack/Daniel slash, here I come.
*eats another spoon of ice cream*
oceana: (Default)
( Jun. 30th, 2007 02:54 pm)
...take places mainly at the office. Then it's home to the tv, bed, shower, office. Weekends since I moved were spent traveling (a lot), going home (I miss my horse and my dog SO much) or here, buying things for the appartment, and cleaning, shopping, ironing and all the other things I don't have time for during the week. I spent DAYS on the phone with the german t-kom because of my internet connection. Now they came and gave my DSL 2000 instead of 16000, because 16000 doesn't work. At least I'm online, though I really really want my 16000. 2000 is a joke. But, not complaining. And it only took three months!
*tired laugh*

Job, Appartment, Fandom... )
oceana: (Default)
( Jun. 30th, 2007 01:14 pm)
AT HOME! In my living room, in front of my tv. THERE IS INTERNET!

Helloooo Internetpeople! Are you all still there?

This is... *is speechless*
I feel reborn.
This LJ is on hiatus for at least two months. I will be back, internetlessness forces me to take a break, but I'm in no way giving up this lj or my shows! Oh, I'm going to miss all my shows!
Oh well, I'll just have to have a marathon when I come back. So, have fun, write fics and be merry. Or something like that.
See you in April!
Create a playlist with all your music, set it on shuffle and then let it predict your year...

My 2007 will be... )


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