So my not-so-secret* boyfriend Mack Gerhardt, played by the ever-sexy Max Martini was undercover as a US marshal on last night's White Collar.
*(as opposed to my really-not-a-secret boyfriend Bob! BOB!)
This made me happy.
However, I am somehow confused how he ended up playing a not only a US marshal, but a corrupt one, too. Maybe this is some really weird undercover mission where they test the FBI and the US prison system. I wonder if he'll meet Bob in prison.
I wonder if they'll share a cell.
(I wonder if I should share my other thoughts on this subject with you, but I think you have your own dirty minds and you don't need mine.)
But, like all other White Collar episodes (but we'll get to that later), the episode would have been great fun even without Mack. It started with Peter and Elle having Saturday morning breakfast (they would likely not pass the broccoli test, at least not on a Saturday morning, but we'll get to that later, too), which is always fun, cause
we like Peter playing house.
Of course, we like him more when he is with Neal, whom he met a few minutes later. Neal, of course, looking impeccable on a Saturday morning. He also asks Peter to go on a date with him (Museum). Peter however, has a date with his wife and declines. (not before Neal asked him to bring his wife on the date, because they clearly want us to
write threesome sex).
There's also the part where they wonder where that guy they are chasing would run, and Neal asks Peter where he'd run. Peter insists he'd never run, but then says, if he did, and I'm quoting "I'm sure it would have something to do with you."
Their love is so epic. (and it's only been one and a half seasons)
Oh, and the whole case is set around an FBI agent having (had) an inappropriate affair with a confidential informant. Of course, Neal isn't a CI as such, but that doesn't stop Peter from bragging to the FBI agent that "his" (Peter's") CI beat the agent's CI. Proud daddy, our Peter. (so not going there)
Then we all get to have some fun with fast cars (I especially liked the part where Neal tells Peter that no, you cannot just hotwire a 450.000USD Lamborghini Murciélago) (I'm not sure if that's exactly what he said, but I'm pretty sure they were driving a Lamborghini Murciélago, and I know that it costs 450.000USD.), Peter on the run (ok, the reason for that may have been a bit weak, but it was fun anyways), and Neal going on a date with Peter's boss (OMG that man (Neal) is such a shameless flirt it's not even funny anymore), who happens to be either the better-dressed twin or the secret second identity of Eureka's Henry. My fandoms, they do love each other.
White Collar is going to be THE new slash fandom. You should all watch it. It is entertaining, fast, pretty, funny and incredibly slashy without hitting you over the head with it (hello, NCIS:LA). Yes, I'm pretty sure the writers are aware of the double-entendre of many of the dialogues, but they write it (and the actor's play it), with enough humour that it just feels natural. Of course, it doesn't hurt that Matt Bomer is so pretty and flirty that he'd have chemistry with a bag of potatoes.
But let's focus on Peter's and Neals relationship and why it is so perfect.
But I already mentioned that. Both are imminently likeable, and they genuinely seem to like each other. And while Peter is probably the type who likes a lot of people, Neal is exactly the kind of guy you'd expect him not to like. Neal, on the other hand, probably doesn't like all that many people, at least not truly. He just pretends to like a lot of people. It's part of his job. So for him to really, truly, like Peter, is something special.
2) More chemistry.
See, Peter is the good guy. And I mean good guy as in really a good guy. You'd trust him more than you'd trust Horatio's sunglasses. But you also know that he is willing to bend the rules if it serves a good cause. He's willing to bend the rules for Neal. But never without a good cause, and I mean a truly good cause. See, Don (you know, the Eppes brother nobody wants to talk about with me), bend the rules to serve HIS cause a lot. Hell, he broke the rules if it served a cause that he thought was good (save Meghan, for example).
I don't think he'd ever do that.
By all means, Peter should drive me insane, because I tend to prefer the morally ambigous not-quite-so-good-guys over the "by-the-book" straight agents. But actually, I absolutely love Peter. Because you believe him. He's not just playing by the rules, he actually IS like that.
Which, of course, will make it so much more fun to see him angst about breaking the rules eventually, and I think we'll get there. I mean, quotes like the one about the running above (in the spoilery part under the cut) already hint at Peter's moral dilemma. He's a good guy, but he's also Neal's friend. And one day, he'll have to make a decision. (can you smell the angst? Can you tell how I'm getting excited, angst-junkie that I am?)
So now that we've established that Peter is the good guy, I think weshould be clear that Neal is the bad guy. No, seriously. He's a criminal. He may not like guns, and he may not kill or hurt people on his scams, but he's still a criminal. And he's no Robin Hood either, he steals and cons people very much for his own profit. And he likes it. In fact, it's been made rather clear that he likes it so much that he will continue to do it, even after he has served his sentence. Yes, he is charming and sexy when he does it, but that doesn't mean he is not a criminal. (of course, there's no rule against liking criminals.)
Good guy/bad guy, of course, is always a slash favourite.
3) Playing house.
Considering that Neal is "only" a criminal who is supposed to help the FBI on cases, they hang out in each other's space a lot. Breakfast, date nights, dinner with the wife... Neal seems to feel right at home at Peter's house, and Peter's wife, Elle, loves him. Yes, there's tons of threesome fiction. Yes, it actually does work.
4) Power dynamics.
Neal is practically Peter's prisoner. No, really. He has a tracking anklet and everything. When Peter says "Jump", Neal will ask "how high" not only because he wants to, but because he has to. It's a slasher's dream come true. You won't have to create elaborate slave or prisoner's AUs anymore, because it's already right there.
Of course, that dynamic makes any relationship between the two automatically inappropriate. Even more so than a relationship with a CI like in last night's ep, because Neal, unlike a CI, does not have a choice. He is completely in Peter's power.
Of course, it doesn't really play that way, because Peter can be trusted, and because Peter trusts Neal (it stands to debate if Neal can be trusted, but that's a different subject). Peter gives Neal choices. He lets Neal decide how he wants to live his life, like when he would let him run with Kate. It was Neal he turned back. Peter is the good guy, and he doesn't abuse the power he has over Neal, but it's still there. And they play it so beautifully in the way they are with each other, never obvious, but in every small gesture. Like the way Neal follows (or should I say obeys?) when Peter calls. And the way Peter calls (or should I say orders?) Neal to follow. It's nothing obvious, but it's still there. I love it.
And I love even more that they are bound to reach their limit one day. That one day, Peter will be forced to abuse his power, be it for Neal's own good or for someone else's. The fact that this is completely against Peter's own moral rules, and that Neal trusts him to never abuse their relationship, will make it even better (angst-junkie, remember?). Oh, I'm so looking forward to that day.
Yes, they are both hot. If you don't think that Neal is hot, you are obviously deaf, blind and dead. If you don't think Peter is hot, you haven't seen him without his suit yet (neither have I. But I have thought about it.)
Hotness is always a good argument for slash.
So, two hot guys, practically living with each other, one good, one bad, with a very clear power-dynamic that makes every relationship between them automatically inappropriate, with more chemistry than all of Eureka's lab combined?
How pretty is that?
Trust me, this show is a slasher's dream come true, and in a few years, it'll be a slash classic. You should all watch it. Now.